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Home Page > Law > Can A Child Decide Which Parent He Wants To Live With In A Rhode Island Divorce Or Child Custody Case?

Can A Child Decide Which Parent He Wants To Live With In A Rhode Island Divorce Or Child Custody Case?

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Posted: Apr 13, 2010 |Comments: 0
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Can A Child Decide Which Parent He Wants To Live With In A Rhode Island Divorce Or Child Custody Case?

By: david slepkow

About the Author

David Slepkow is a Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer concentrating in Divorce, Family law, Restraining Orders, Child Custody, DCYF, Child Support, Relocation, Criminal Law, Restraining Orders, Personal Injury and Automobile / Car Accidents.

David has been practicing since 1997 and is licensed in Rhode Island (RI), Massachusetts (MA) and Federal Court. Free Initial Consultations. Credit Cards Accepted. Evening Appointments Available.

Rhode Island Divorce and Child Custody Law Articles

Rhode Island Personal Injury Lawyer Blog

(ArticlesBase SC #2147537)

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ – Can A Child Decide Which Parent He Wants To Live With In A Rhode Island Divorce Or Child Custody Case?

Is there a particular age when a child can decide which parent they want to reside with, in a RI child custody or Rhode Island Divorce case?

There is no set age when a child can decide to live with their mother or father in a Rhode Island Child Custody Case. In fact, theoretically, the child is not allowed to make the decision. In reality, older children have a very significant impact on child custody determinations by a Rhode Island Family Court Judge. In making a child custody determination, the Court makes a decision based on the “best interest of the child”.

Please contact Rhode Island Divorce Law and Child Custody Law Lawyer David Slepkow (401-437-1100) if you are seeking a Rhode Island Attorney / Lawyer.

The preference of the child is only one of the factors that a Rhode Island Family Court Judge may consider in determining the best interest of the child. Please see below for all factors that the Rhode Island Family Court utilizes to determine Child Custody.

If an older child such as a 15, 16 or 17 year old has a preference and that opinion is expressed to the Judge, Court Investigator or Guardian ad Litem than the judge will usually respect the child’s desire.

There are some exceptions to an older child’s decision being decisive. In some cases, despite the child’s age, the child does not know what is in his best interest. If the child does not have a good reason for his decision then the judge can deny the child’s request. If the other parent is not a fit and proper person to have placement of the child then the Judge can deny the request. The Judge can deny a child’s request if the parent the child would like to reside with has a drug or alcohol problem or a criminal record. In some cases, RI Family Court Judges are hesitant to change placement if the child has behavioral issues and the child is merely rebelling against the imposition of rules and structure.

Children also may be given influence in Child Visitation cases in RI. Children may play a role in the determination of whether visitation should be overnight. Children often play a role in whether visitation should be supervised or unsupervised and the length of duration of visitation. Children also may be given influence when the parent with physical custody files a motion to relocate out of state.

Practical Tip: If you are aware that your children support your position regarding Visitation, Custody, Placement or Relocation out of state then have your children interviewed by the Judge, RI Family Services or a Guardian ad Litem.

Children ages 11, 12, 13 & 14 may also given significant influence over  Rhode Island Child Custody, Visitation and Relocation cases.

Judges in Rhode Island have different philosophies on how they deal with children. Some judges will not interview children. They will have the  Family Court investigators from Rhode Island Family services or the Guardian ad Litem interview the children. The Court Investigator or the Guardian ad Litem then will issue a report to the RI Family Court Judge or Magistrate handling the matter.

There are some judges who will bring the child into chambers for an interview. The Judge will usually bring the court reporter to transcribe the proceedings. Some judges will allow the attorneys to question the child in chambers in front of the judge.

Practical Tip: Don’t coach your children. This is unfair to the child and puts unnecessary stress and pressure on the child. Also, the Child will usually tell the Judge or Family services about the coaching. If the Judge believes that you have engaged in coaching then there may be severe sanctions. The Sanctions may include the judge denying your request for placement, sole custody or relocation.

The older a child is, the more weight / influence the judge will give to the child’s preferences regarding custody, placement, visitation and relocation out of state. Younger children usually have a greater influence on proving facts rather than making decisions. The child may tell the investigator or Judge that their parent abuses them or if they are afraid of their parent. The child may tell the investigator that the parent makes negative or disparaging comments about a parent in front of the child. The child may make allegations regarding parental alienatation.

Children typically do not get to make the decision concerning legal custody. Legal custody pertains to who gets to make decisions concerning religion, education, social development, activities and medical decisions. Legal Custody will either be Sole Custody to one parent or Joint Custody to both parents. Sole Legal Custody means that a parent can make all important and major decisions concerning a child’s health, welfare and upbringing without consulting with the other parent. Joint Legal Custody means both parents should be involved in major / important decisions concerning a child’s upbringing, education, medical and religious welfare. However,The factual assertions and opinions of the children may play a role in the Rhode Island Family Court’s decision concerning legal custody.

Child Custody matters involving preference of the child may play a role in Rhode Island Divorce, Paternity, Miscellaneous Petitions for Custody, DCYF, Motions to modify Custody or placement and visitation disputes. Children have no real influence on Child Support cases.

The Child Custody Factors in Rhode Island:

“This [C]ourt has held that child-custody awards must be made in the ‘best interest[s]‘ of the child.” quoting Petition of Loudin “[T]he best interests of the child standard remains amorphous and its implementation has been left to the sound discretion of the trial justices.” Id. Several factors must be taken into consideration by the Judge in making a best interest of the child determination. However, no single factor is determinative; rather “[t]he trial justice must consider a combination of and an interaction among all the relevant factors that affect the child’s best interests.” Among the factors the court must consider are the following:

1. The wishes of the child’s parent or parents regarding the child’s custody.
2. The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient intelligence, understanding, and experience to express a preference.
3. The interaction and interrelationship of the child with the child’s parent or parents, the child’s siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interest.
4. The child’s adjustment to the child’s home, school, and community.
5. The mental and physical health of all individuals involved.
6. The stability of the child’s home environment.
7. The moral fitness of the child’s parents.
8. The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate a close and continuous parent-child relationship between the child and the other parent.” Pettinato v. Pettinato, 582 A.2d 909, 913-14 (R.I. 1990).
In many contested child custody cases, Professionals such as Social workers, Therapists, Psychologists, and the Guardian ad litem for the children may play a major role.

Rhode Island Attorneys legal Notice per RI Rules of Professional Responsibility:

The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all lawyers / attorneys in the general practice of law, but does not license or certify any lawyer or attorney as an expert or specialist in any field of practice.

Retrieved from “http://www.articlesbase.com/law-articles/can-a-child-decide-which-parent-he-wants-to-live-with-in-a-rhode-island-divorce-or-child-custody-case-2147537.html”

(ArticlesBase SC #2147537)

david slepkow -
About the Author:

David Slepkow is a Rhode Island Divorce Lawyer concentrating in Divorce, Family law, Restraining Orders, Child Custody, DCYF, Child Support, Relocation, Criminal Law, Restraining Orders, Personal Injury and Automobile / Car Accidents.

David has been practicing since 1997 and is licensed in Rhode Island (RI), Massachusetts (MA) and Federal Court. Free Initial Consultations. Credit Cards Accepted. Evening Appointments Available.

Rhode Island Divorce and Child Custody Law Articles

Rhode Island Personal Injury Lawyer Blog

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Home Page > Relationships > Dating > Talking With Women – Dating After Divorce

Talking With Women – Dating After Divorce

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Posted: Oct 08, 2010 |Comments: 0

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Talking With Women – Dating After Divorce

By: After Divorce Dating

About the Author

You need a comfortable way to start dating again after divorce. We talk with hundreds of divorced daters, and try out many new methods, to develop the easy techniques we teach.

(ArticlesBase SC #3430284)

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ – Talking With Women – Dating After Divorce

Ah, the core issue in all of this dating stuff, eh? How to chat it up with the fairer sex without looking like a jerk, feeling like a jerk, or clamming up and not talking at all.

The balance to be obtained is your own comfort level, and not stupifying the woman into sliding you into the “friend zone” if that’s not where you’re going.

Unfortunately the bad news is that staying out of the “friend zone” is more a matter of who you pick, rather than what you say. Once a relationship heads a certain direction, it’s sometimes better to move it to the back  burner or eliminate it, rather than try to convert into something it will never be.

TIP – This is where ALL of the “cocky and funny” pick up artists tricks will fail you miserably. Funny and assertive “cockiness” cannot be transplanted into someone who simply does not feel that way. It’s much better to project interest in the woman, and to continue asking her questions about herself and her life. Think about the comfortable conversations you have with your male friends, you don’t hang out with them trying to be “cocky and funny”, you simply talk about things you all have an interest in, and you crack jokes about things when it seems appropriate.

So let’s get into what you should say, and how you should say it. The entire “secret” is to be conversational and talk about things that don’t involve you personally. If you’re talking about the crappy carpet in the bathrooms, or how bad your friend drives, you haven’t stuck your own neck in any uncomfortable nooses.

First of all, we want to forget about lists of things to say, and “secret phrases” that drive women wild. There is no better way to make yourself nervous then to try to remember a bunch of tips and pick up lines that you read in a book.

Remember, the main way to success with women is to make sure she knows you fit in. If you fit in with the crown, then she fits in when she’s with you, and that make her comfortable – the main goal in any relationship.

Pick out items in the environment you are both in, a lamp, the chairs, the music, the food, pick two or three things, it’s simple.

Form questions about those items to ask people about. Think of them as you would ask anyone, man or woman alike.

– I need some new lamps for my apartment, and I like those blue ones. Do you like that color or is it too dark?

– I’m checking out caterers for my sister’s wedding (or office party, or graduation, or whatever), and I’d like to know what you think of these hors d’oeuvres.

– Do you eat lunch around here? my friend and I (if you’re wingman equipped) really need a new place to try for lunch.

See how all of those questions don’t lead in any way toward sex, or hooking up? They’re comfortable, and you can easily ask them of anyone. If she’s snippy with you or disinterested, don’t take it personally – move on, it’s easy to do so, because you weren’t presenting yourself to her, you were just being conversational – no personal investment, so it’s painless.

Don’t have any specific expectation for any particular conversation. The number one reason men get nervous in a conversation is that they are not focusing on the discussion, but rather the outcome and/or what the woman is supposedly thinking about them. The great news is that the woman you just met may have made some initial snap judgements about you, but after that, she’s probably thinking about her too tight shoes, or her day at work tomorrow, etc., you are not really a big concern on her radar.

Since you’re not tightly focused on a goal, and the woman is just hoping you’re not a maniac, compliment someone else in the area, and see if she agrees.

The next bit is the key, and it’s the easiest bit to do. Make a move to walk away – be polite about it, and tell her you need to mingle some more. Again, don’t have a specific expectation, but do look for her reaction. The comfortable and easy part about this is that if the conversation is dragging, and you don’t know what to do, this gives you a comfortable, easy escape, no fuss, no muss. If she holds onto your arm, or makes other gestures, looks, or outright requests for you to stay or come back later she WILL. 100 percent of the time, without fail. We guarantee this. Woman who want companionship and who think you are even close to being the person to do that with will absolutely indicate that to you, they are never shy about that.

It’s up to you at this point to decide if the woman is someone you’re interested in spending more time with or not. So all you have to do is to decide to stay or go. Make your choice now.

If you decide to stay and chat with her some more, it CAN get a little nerve wracking to keep the conversation going, so next give her a couple choices: Invite her immediately to accompany you to a cool little martini bar or similar quieter local bar nearby, or ask her for an email address and/or phone number to catch up with her later. Whatever she decides, you had NO SPECIFIC EXPECTATIONS for anyway, so it’s cool and easygoing.

Note how the entire new process you’re learning is like rolling a ball down the stairs, you just jump and let things happen. You don’t have to have elaborate plans about exactly how it’s going to come out, you just give the ball a little nudge and let it go where it wants to.

It’s an incredibly natural feeling process which works magnificently for us, and we know it will work great for you.

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Home Page > Relationships > Dating > Talking With Women – Dating After Divorce

Talking With Women – Dating After Divorce

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Talking With Women – Dating After Divorce

By: After Divorce Dating

About the Author

You need a comfortable way to start dating again after divorce. We talk with hundreds of divorced daters, and try out many new methods, to develop the easy techniques we teach.

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Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ – Talking With Women – Dating After Divorce

Ah, the core issue in all of this dating stuff, eh? How to chat it up with the fairer sex without looking like a jerk, feeling like a jerk, or clamming up and not talking at all.

The balance to be obtained is your own comfort level, and not stupifying the woman into sliding you into the “friend zone” if that’s not where you’re going.

Unfortunately the bad news is that staying out of the “friend zone” is more a matter of who you pick, rather than what you say. Once a relationship heads a certain direction, it’s sometimes better to move it to the back  burner or eliminate it, rather than try to convert into something it will never be.

TIP – This is where ALL of the “cocky and funny” pick up artists tricks will fail you miserably. Funny and assertive “cockiness” cannot be transplanted into someone who simply does not feel that way. It’s much better to project interest in the woman, and to continue asking her questions about herself and her life. Think about the comfortable conversations you have with your male friends, you don’t hang out with them trying to be “cocky and funny”, you simply talk about things you all have an interest in, and you crack jokes about things when it seems appropriate.

So let’s get into what you should say, and how you should say it. The entire “secret” is to be conversational and talk about things that don’t involve you personally. If you’re talking about the crappy carpet in the bathrooms, or how bad your friend drives, you haven’t stuck your own neck in any uncomfortable nooses.

First of all, we want to forget about lists of things to say, and “secret phrases” that drive women wild. There is no better way to make yourself nervous then to try to remember a bunch of tips and pick up lines that you read in a book.

Remember, the main way to success with women is to make sure she knows you fit in. If you fit in with the crown, then she fits in when she’s with you, and that make her comfortable – the main goal in any relationship.

Pick out items in the environment you are both in, a lamp, the chairs, the music, the food, pick two or three things, it’s simple.

Form questions about those items to ask people about. Think of them as you would ask anyone, man or woman alike.

– I need some new lamps for my apartment, and I like those blue ones. Do you like that color or is it too dark?

– I’m checking out caterers for my sister’s wedding (or office party, or graduation, or whatever), and I’d like to know what you think of these hors d’oeuvres.

– Do you eat lunch around here? my friend and I (if you’re wingman equipped) really need a new place to try for lunch.

See how all of those questions don’t lead in any way toward sex, or hooking up? They’re comfortable, and you can easily ask them of anyone. If she’s snippy with you or disinterested, don’t take it personally – move on, it’s easy to do so, because you weren’t presenting yourself to her, you were just being conversational – no personal investment, so it’s painless.

Don’t have any specific expectation for any particular conversation. The number one reason men get nervous in a conversation is that they are not focusing on the discussion, but rather the outcome and/or what the woman is supposedly thinking about them. The great news is that the woman you just met may have made some initial snap judgements about you, but after that, she’s probably thinking about her too tight shoes, or her day at work tomorrow, etc., you are not really a big concern on her radar.

Since you’re not tightly focused on a goal, and the woman is just hoping you’re not a maniac, compliment someone else in the area, and see if she agrees.

The next bit is the key, and it’s the easiest bit to do. Make a move to walk away – be polite about it, and tell her you need to mingle some more. Again, don’t have a specific expectation, but do look for her reaction. The comfortable and easy part about this is that if the conversation is dragging, and you don’t know what to do, this gives you a comfortable, easy escape, no fuss, no muss. If she holds onto your arm, or makes other gestures, looks, or outright requests for you to stay or come back later she WILL. 100 percent of the time, without fail. We guarantee this. Woman who want companionship and who think you are even close to being the person to do that with will absolutely indicate that to you, they are never shy about that.

It’s up to you at this point to decide if the woman is someone you’re interested in spending more time with or not. So all you have to do is to decide to stay or go. Make your choice now.

If you decide to stay and chat with her some more, it CAN get a little nerve wracking to keep the conversation going, so next give her a couple choices: Invite her immediately to accompany you to a cool little martini bar or similar quieter local bar nearby, or ask her for an email address and/or phone number to catch up with her later. Whatever she decides, you had NO SPECIFIC EXPECTATIONS for anyway, so it’s cool and easygoing.

Note how the entire new process you’re learning is like rolling a ball down the stairs, you just jump and let things happen. You don’t have to have elaborate plans about exactly how it’s going to come out, you just give the ball a little nudge and let it go where it wants to.

It’s an incredibly natural feeling process which works magnificently for us, and we know it will work great for you.

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The list of reasons why marriages fail or why couples divorce can go on and on. But a lot of researches and real life experiences dance around these points enumerated above.

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The divorce rate in the U.S. has leveled off with one exception—the rate is rising for those 60 and over. The Administration on Aging (1990, 2000)4 provided data on separation and divorce for those over 60 years.  The 1990 and 2000 census reports the percentage of divorces. Although the 2000 report included ages 55 in the first category, the increase in late life divorce is clearly evident. (see chart on facing page)  Although there is a lack of research on the rates and impact of divorce in later life, anecdotal evidence indicates that many older persons are experiencing divorce and do so typically after long-term marriages. How many readers will respond affirmatively when asked if they have personal knowledge of friends, relatives, or acquaintances over 60 who are going through divorces? When I ask this question of my graduate students, many hands go up and typically many of the divorces are their own parents.

The issues that are present with late life divorce are significantly different from those of couples at earlier stages. It is important that counselors are aware of the issues since these individuals experiencing divorce late in life will be in need of counseling.    Some reasons given for late life divorce   Kids are grown and the need for maintaining the relationship isn’t as great as it once was    Can’t cope with life changes (illness, retirement)    Patterns of abuse (physical, emotional, substances)    Met and fell in love with someone else    We’ve grown apart—no longer love each other    Men feel invisible at home—they see a pattern of their parents (strong woman—passive man)    Divorce no longer a stigma—the influence of a societal mindset— instant gratification    Couples don’t “hang in” during the transition in the life cycle     Couples don’t know how to communicate/fight/argue    Extramarital affairs—often an avoidance of transition—aging    Fear of aging—denial of the fear    Retirement—more time together but no common interests    Their children’s divorce was a trigger   Economic/financial impact  The impact on economic status tends to be far reaching, especially for couples’ of limited means and for women who have not remained in the job market.

Late life divorce requires rearranging and planning for:   Social security    Pensions    Health insurance and life insurance    Insurance beneficiaries    Tax exemptions (over 55 capital gains on primary dwelling)    Re-writing wills    Ownership of properties and division of personal properties    Women tend to experience the most devastating economic impact. In many states, if a woman has a meager income (at least $75.00 a week), she will not receive alimony. In addition, she will no longer be the beneficiary on the insurance policy and probably will not receive a portion of her husband’s pension. Equitable distribution guidelines are not helpful for women with no earned income. According to the Administration on Aging (2000),5 women are half as likely as men to receive pension income and their risk of poverty increases dramatically the longer they live. Given this information, it is little wonder that older women have realistic concerns about their economic future and their ability to take care of themselves as they age.

Emotional and social impact  Divorce in late life is a major stressor, often resulting in emotional problems requiring therapy. Divorce is typically described as a loss and individuals usually go through a grief process similar to the stages associated with death. Family and friends do not know how to react or how to provide support. The death of a spouse is more acceptable. However, there are no rituals as in death and no rules to guide behavior. This often results in feelings of loneliness, rejection, resentment, and bitterness (Gatewood, 1992).6 Divorce support groups can provide important assistance and help for older women, but unfortunately; they tend to focus on the younger population and their issues of child rearing and child care, dating, remarriage, and workplace opportunities. Older women are typically beyond the problems surrounding children. Their needs tend to encompass issues of aging such as health, finances, housing, and relationships (family, companionship, and friendship).

Men tend to remarry, but women have far fewer opportunities to remarry. Socially, women are measured by their looks and men are measured by their accomplishments. Women report feeling like a “fifth wheel” and tend to expand their friendships with other women (Gatewood, 1999).7 According to Jane Spock, divorced after 48 years of marriage to Dr. Benjamin Spock, “You are left with a deep sense of loss and rejection, but it’s even worse than that. You also find yourself alone, unskilled, and well along in years. You feel totally unable to deal with the world (Abrams, 1986).”8 Montenegro (2005)9 reported the results of a research study on later life divorce that was commissioned by the American Association of Retired Persons. This groundbreaking study, The Divorce Experience: A study of divorce at midlife and beyond, was the first of its kind to document what has become a common experience among those at mid to later life. The number one reason given for delaying divorce was “the children.” According to Montenegro, “When contemplating divorce, many people bide their time to spare potential victims—the children.” Since most experts agree that women tend to maintain post-divorce contact with their children more successfully than do men, this probably accounts for the different level of concern.

Women were more worried about financial problems, and for both groups, delaying the divorce because they did not believe in divorce was a distant second. The survey’s authors said many of the reported trends were linked to the increased prevalence of divorce—a phenomenon that means the ranks of midlife singles are no longer dominated by widows and those who never married. “These changes in attitudes coincide with the aging of the baby boomers, the generation that first adopted liberalized sexual attitudes en masse,” the survey said. “This is the same generation that became more accepting of divorce and changed the perception of older unmarried women from being ‘old maids’ to emancipated feminists.” Overall, the respondents found divorce to be painful, and uniformly, their worst fear was being alone.  A booklet to assist older women with issues related to late life divorce was published by AARP (Divorce After 50— Challenges and Choices).10 It covers topics such as marital options, legal process (mediation, settlement), emotional divorce, therapeutic interventions, and taking responsibility for oneself. This type of resource, aimed specifically at older women experiencing divorce, is rare.

Impact of baby boomers on divorce  According to an article in American Demographics (Russell, 1995),11 baby boomers will make up the majority of the population (approximately 78 million) in the U.S. in 2005. The author states that baby boomers are entirely unlike older generations of Americans both in attitudes and lifestyles. They will create a new midlife marketplace over the next few decades. The boomers’ wants and needs are different from the wants and needs of previous generations. They are a well-educated generation and are highly individualistic, independent, and self-indulgent. Middle age is a difficult stage of life—job and family responsibilities mount relentlessly. The years surrounding age 50 + are a time of frustration and even crisis for many people. Profound things happen in midlife, and profound events will shake millions of baby boomers as they enter this time of life. Self-help books are so popular that the New York Times publishes a separate best-seller list for them. According to the author, spirituality (often not traditional religion) is experiencing a rebirth as boomers search for life’s meaning. How will this impact the Church as we know it today? And how might this impact counselors?

The increased education level of boomers, along with working women, divorce, individualistic attitudes, small families, and dual incomes will have a major impact on society. Boomers are looking for ways to escape tedium. This may result in an increase in extramarital affairs. As the boomers enter later life, youthful products, services, lifestyles, and attitudes will become commonplace. Boomers will create the new “mid-youth” market. The article divides the boomer generation into three segments that need to be watched:    Power Players: the achievers who are about to reap the rewards of decades on the job.    Fun Seekers: springs from individualism— looking for the good times and “toys”—they are the biggest spenders on new cars and trucks.    The Matriarchs: with children grown, female boomers will satisfy their demands by concentrating on “self”   Amidst all this, a surge in the divorce rate is expected (emphasis added).   Late life divorce among Christians  Barna Research (2000)12 reports that Christians have a higher incidence of divorce than the general public.

Barna separates the population into groups according to age and designates a title for each group. Divorce comparison by age groups is as follows:    “Busters” (Ages 16–34) 17%    “Boomers” (Ages 15–53) 34%    “Builders” (Ages 54–72) 37%    “Seniors” (Ages 73+) 18%   Since Barna’s research does not use the same age groups as other researchers, it is not as easy to compare the results, however, the results are worrisome and suggest that there is a need for providing old_resources and therapy for this population. And while there was no information regarding the impact of divorce specifically on Christian women, my informal dialogue with fellow therapists indicates that the impact compares with their non-Christian counterparts.    Implications for counselors  While divorce statistics suggest that there may be a leveling off overall, according to projections, divorce in later life will likely increase as the baby boomers swell the ranks of the “senior” population. This presents specific therapeutic challenges to therapists who have not been engaged in counseling persons experiencing divorce with clients who are 60+ and often ending 30-40 year marriages.

Women divorcing in later life are met with many age-specific social, emotional, and economic/financial challenges. Helping these clients develop/expand/ enhance their sense of autonomy is an essential element of therapy. Counselors need to be aware of a variety of old_resources in the community available to promote post-divorce adjustment.  Divorce recovery support groups have been effective with many women; unfortunately they tend to cater to the younger set. And while churches could provide this valuable resource, they often are resistant or ignore the need for such groups. Support groups could address economic issues such as social security, insurances, taxes, and budgeting one’s income as older women have often been “shielded” from the financial side of the marital household and are fearful of their ability to survive on a significantly smaller income. The need for social support can also be met through groups. Sharing like concerns and the knowledge that there are other women experiencing similar emotional issues can enhance the recovery process.

Individual counseling can also address these same issues and additionally provide the personal one-to-one connection needed for more in depth work, especially in the area of self-concept and inner security.  With regard to the role of spirituality and late life divorce, there is little written to guide the counselor or the client. The Christian community has either been silent on the divorce issue or rather critical. When going through the pain of divorce, there is often no soft place to land.Take help from telephone counselor.

Since the recovery process will undoubtedly have spiritual implications, counselors must be prepared to assist their clients in sorting out the spiritual aspects of the divorce and the post divorce adjustment. Life after divorce can be a daunting prospect for older women, but prepared counselors can provide the needed support to help them navigate the uncharted waters.   Conclusion    While divorce among people over 60 is still less common than divorce in the general public, it is becoming more prevalent, and it has a significant impact on older women. As the “baby boomers” move into later life, we can expect the divorce rate to continue to rise. Seniors will become the largest segment of society (Administration on Aging, 1990)13 and will require services to meet their needs. For those experiencing divorce, old_resources such as support groups and therapy will be necessary. It seems clear that the plight of women who experience divorce in later life is an issue of real concern. For Christian mental health providers, this will be an opportunity to minister to wounded hearts. We need to consider the need and prepare to serve.

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penis male enlargement techniques have been recorded as far back as 2000 years ago by African tribes and nomadic Arabic tribes. These tribes possessed elaborate stretching techniques that include hanging traction and jelqing methods. Hieroglyphics and cave drawings showing kings with huge penises blessing their kingdoms provide evidence for the association of large penises with power. Within native tribes body modification including penis male enlargement is often tied to social position or initiations into manhood. However the repression of sexuality by such institutions as churches government and other social institutions has rendered these practices as primitive or taboo.

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If you are feeling extremely insecure about the size of your penis then it might be nice to know that you are not alone! A lot of men are actually unhappy with their current size but the great thing is you can change it! Using a few of the penis male enlargement tips that I am about the mention will allow slow but steady growth. This isn’t just relating to size either but to the girth as well. Of course you can follow the tips rigorously or opt to have a more casual approach depending on how many inches you are looking to gain.

The vast majority of men believe that a long penis is the key to sexual success. The truth is that this is wrong. While a long member goes a long way to turning your woman on a thick manhood is what will make her climax time after time. She just doesn’t know it yet.

Who else wants to discuss more natural penis male enlargement tips and techniques? If you are anything like the vast majority of men who read our articles the simple truth is that finding that ONE singular strategy for super size has proved to be difficult right? It’s true…and unfortunately the large numbers of scams silly strategies and simply poor and erroneous information out there about enlargement has made getting real advice far too difficult for most.

Many of us have heard of pills that are available for penis male enlargement. But in actuality how effective is these pills in getting improvements in the size of the penis. Even if they are effective how safe are these pills to use and how permanent are the results? Read on and find more about this interesting subject.

The male enhancement industry is growing at a remarkable pace. It seems that every day new ways to get a bigger penis are hitting the market. Before you make the decision to buy a penis male enlargement program read this article. It will help you determine which new products are just gimmicks and will also show you the best way to increase your penis size!

At home penis male enlargement is a subject that is of much interest to many males. They may not speak openly about this subject among other men but it is quite a big factor for those who feel insecure about their body.

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We are pretty uneducated when it comes to the ways of communication in relationships. Most of the time the way we talk to each other can cause negative triggers instead of feel good states and resolution to problems.

Tantrics know things about creating a connection before talking, so that there is a better likely hood of both parties getting what they want. Consequently as the practice of connection strengthens the bond of the couple, the talking part triggers each party less and less.

Old programming from our childhood coupled with our natural bio-chemical responses make communication a mine field even for the most “together ” people.

When you were young you grew and learned by modeling those around you, primarily your parents. Can you think back to how your parents talked to each other? Did your mom talk at your Dad, and your Dad read the paper and grunted at her as a response? Or did every little conversation result in an all out yelling contest?

These models have impacted your ability to communicate today. But deeper than even the role modeling and programming is your biology.

There are fewer things that make a relationship go down hill fast for most men, than a woman wanting to “share feelings”. Telling each other the truth and being frank has some serious drawbacks as well.

Chemically men are not wired the way women are, and especially when it comes to talking and expressing emotions. Discussion, is an almost sure fire way to destroy an attempt at communication. The new research about the male mind makes this quite apparent.

It is interesting that we are taught that talking solves problems between couples. After all what is the first thing we do when our relationships are in trouble? We go to marriage counseling, or talk therapy and women spill their guts and men withdraw more. Most traditional couple’s therapy does not have a high success rate.

Candid talking from women to their men usually makes whatever is wrong quite a bit worse. As women we need to forget what we think works. Our men are not our girlfriends and they respond very differently to our heart filled talks.

As women we are comfortable talking about every little thing that we think about. We know that mostly we need someone to hear us thinking out loud. When we do this with our girlfriends they understand that we are not necessarily in crisis. We are just downloading information and once that is on the table, our friend can respond and we are good to go. No major upheaval.

To men his partner talking sounds like a laundry list of problems that can not be solved at that moment and are directly related to his performance.

In part two we will take a look at the biology that is hindering communication and making even the best relationship likely to fail, and ways to make things more successful.

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Instead of just talking we need other tools; we need connection, and we need that especially before any attempt at communication. Connection is the key, and Tantra is the art of connection.

When men feel connected they want to talk more and are more open to hearing what their lovers are saying without feeling criticized. When women feel connected they want to talk less because they are not tying to forge the bond they felt was missing.

Seems like connecting causes there to be more of the balance that the different genders need.

Connecting non-verbally will save most of the relationships in doom today. With 40 million couples living sexless marriages and a 61 percent divorce rate we need something other than talking about it, to fix what is going on.

When women talk to each other or the kids about working together or making things better they don’t feel the same vulnerabilities to the extent that men do. Those vulnerabilities are namely fear and shame, and those feelings can cripple a man.

What couples need to do is to become aware of how each other reacts to a perceived stressful situation. If you understand that your man can not hear you when you are getting passionately engaged in conversation, don’t get mad, get connected. Think about connecting on a non verbal way before starting to try and fix anything verbally.

What generally happens is one or the other will wait until they are scared, hurt, angry or sad before trying to reconnect verbally in the relationship and that doesn’t work at all.

In my teaching of Tantra I help couples connect non-verbally with several effective tools to keep this cycle of fear based communication from happening and spinning out of control.

The most powerful one of these connection tools is called a spooning agreement.

As a couple, you can make an agreement that when you are starting down the road to conflict in conversation, one or the other can call spooning, with a hand gesture or a by saying spooning. The other needs to comply with this request.

Spooning is when the couple lays down with one in the front and the other behind, both facing the same way. Usually the one that calls spooning is behind. Once in this position you commence to breathe together. This is done for 5 minutes.

Breathing together creates harmony and breathing helps to combat the effects of cortisol. Generally in 5 minutes both partners have had time to get their bio-chemistry backed off a bit and even more in sync. Once that happens it’s hard for the couple to imagine why they might have been angry in the first place.

Keeping to your spooning agreement is a very tough thing to do when you are angry but remember this is about the commitment to the relationship, not about being right. Once you have spooned you will feel better connected and men will be able to listen more and women will be more empathetic to the man’s feelings of anxiety and shame.

We need to understand that the majority of men desire to please their partners and make them happy, and the majority of women want their men to feel appreciated and loved.

When women feel connected they talk from their hearts instead of their hurts. When men feel connected they listen from their hearts instead of their shame. And when that can happen, healing and love can flourish.

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I know it sounds harsh but most people would find it easier to divorce and go about their lives rather than do the hard yards and make their marriage work! Previously people were forced into marriage because women could not support themselves in society easily and it was seen as a terrible thing to divorce but that simply made unhappy marriages instead of divorce. To make a good stable marriage you have to work at it all the time and the rewards are worth the effort but most people get complacent and things start falling apart.

Now it does not have to be like that and even marriages on the brink of divorce can be brought back to a fulfilling relationship as long as at least one person is willing to work at it and not be discouraged. To do this though there is one extremely important thing you must do to mend the rift:

Let go of your Ego!

One thing that destroys relationships more than anything is peoples drive to be right and WIN at an argument or at an entire relationship! This is a poison that can eat into every part of your life and puts up barriers between your lover and yourself as you never can win or if you do it ends up emotionally devastating and unforgivable. You see when you want to win they will not want to lose when you are hostile and arguing, this means that to resolve a conflict you must set aside that desire to win and leave yourself unarmed and defenseless against their attacks. Even if you know they are wrong it does not matter! the point is that you need to destroy the hostility barriers you have created by being stubborn so that you can actually talk and fix your problems!

Not only will you be able to resolve problems you will find that your spouse will be reluctant to continue verbal attacks because there is no victory in defeating an unarmed opponent and frequently they will start defending you once they realize what they were saying may have been driven by ego and anger and then everyone can start from a clean slate.

So save marriage, stop divorce and have the marriage you want to have by leaving your ego at the door and gaining the intimacy you need to have a great marriage that will last the test of time!

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