What an drama filled February it has been, and we are only on the 12th day. It all started 10 days ago.  On Feb 2nd photos of Michael Phelps smoking from a bong (obviously he was smoking marijuana) surfaced. Then reports of Alex Rodriguez testing positive for Steroids hit the front page of all the major newspapers here in New York and all across the country. Alex is then interviewed on ESPN and admits to taking a banned substance from 2001-2003. I mean at least he confessed, but a little too late. About 6 years late! Then the other day I go to CNN.com to see what’s going on in the world, and the front page shows famous 19 year old, R&B/Pop singer Chris Brown beats up his famous 20 year old Pop singer girlfriend Rihanna. I mean what’s going on here?

Here’s what it comes down to. What do you represent? What do you stand for? Who are you? What does your character represent? It’s all about character. I admire these 3 individuals (Chris Brown, Alex Rodriguez, and Michael Phelps) for their professional and athletic accomplishments. I really do, but at the same time what they failed to realize and what I feel humanity has failed to realize is that “with great power comes great responsibility.” Remember Spiderman? Remember when Peter Parker’s Uncle delivered that message to him. “With great power comes great responsibility.” What a statement.

I think in today’s world many of these so-called celebrities, athletes, or anyone of status, failed to realize that it’s not just about them. It’s about the big picture. It’s about everyone else. They fail to realize that, because of their position, they have influence, whether they like it or not. Whether you like it or not, the minute you sign up to become a professional athlete, a movie star, a music artist, politician or of any celebrity status, you signed up for the “I’m now an open book to the rest of the world” plan. You have no choice but to be transparent. Like they always say (and excuse me for my language) but “the shit always floats to the top.” No matter how much you try to hide the skeletons in the closet you will eventually be exposed. So why not just admit to your mistakes rather than being caught by a camera or be exposed by a report. Even better why put yourself in that situation. Sure people are saying “leave Michael Phelps alone. He’s only a kid.” Sure Michael Phelps has the right to smoke out of a bong, but the minute you signed that Kellogg’s endorsement or decided to win 8 Gold Medals in the Olympics, you became a role model to millions of people around the world. So yes you have the right to do whatever you want, but now your character and image has been tainted. Your reputation and credibility is everything. Your life has everything to do with your credibility and reputation. I don’t think smoking out of a bong is a big deal, even though I have no desire to, but when the world is watching every move you make. It is a big deal.

The worst case here is Chris Brown. In my opinion the guy lost his career. I think he did more damage than A-Rod and Michael Phelps combined. I think it’s safe to say that Chris Brown will lose all his endorsement and majority of his fan base. Over what? I mean what’s the worse thing Rihanna could have done to him. Either she cheated on him, called him some derogatory names, or slapped him. Is that any reason to totally beat the hell out of anybody, let alone a woman? The crazy thing is he knows Martial Arts and he still beat her up. Now you know why he is being charged with a deadly weapon. Here’s the lesson you can learn from this one: You are as big as what bothers you.

Here are the lessons that we can learn from these 3 individuals:

1) Actions speak louder than words. Have a good Character. Do not take shortcuts in life. It will come back to haunt you. Make sure your actions and words are aligned. Don’t go say one thing and do the total opposite. Don’t make claims and not live up to them.

2) Be Transparent: If you made a mistake come out and confess, rather than being caught by a 3rd party. When you get caught, you are seen as a dishonest person and there goes your credibility. If you come out yourself and fess up to your mistakes, it’s a funny thing but you at least salvage some of your credibility. Here’s the best advice: don’t put yourself in a position to be weak and succumb to temptations. Just stay away. I’d rather just do the right thing and live a correct life. Of course we are not all perfect and we will make mistakes, just make sure that you are transparent about it and acknowledge that you have made a mistake. Be humble about your mishaps and vow to yourself and your network that you will change for the better. Never hide, because you will be found.

3) Do not succumb to the “success syndrome”. Always stay humble. People cannot rise above the limitations of their character according to John C. Maxwell, author of “The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader.” So my advice is to always be a student of life. Attack your lacks. I also learned this from John C. Maxwell. Get out a sheet of paper and write down a list of the major areas in your life. For example: Your family, health, job, business, etc. Then write down for each area a pattern you may notice that represents a lack in that area. Then write down a game plan on how you are going to correct that pattern. For example, for myself in the area of family, my parents live in California. I live in New Jersey. Ever since I left California my communication has not been great with them. I am 30 years old. My mother is 62 and my father is 72. The truth is I don’t know how much longer they have on this Earth. So it is crucial that I communicate with them as much as possible even though we only see each other 3-4 times per year. So since I got this fancy I phone from Apple, I put reminders in my phone to at least call them every 2 days just to check up on them. In addition to show them that I love them and think about them all the time. Just from calling them 4 times per week, as in the past I would call them once per week, I may fill their lives with more joy and that could potentially help them live a longer life. By living a few years longer and having a little more joy in their life they may affect someone else in a positive light somehow. Remember how earlier I talked about “the big picture”. Now do you see what I am talking about? One action can cause a ripple effect.

You see with these three individuals, Alex Rodriguez, Chris Brown, and Michael Phelps, they have everything going for them. I don’t know them at all. For all I know they are probably great people, very talented as well. They’ve done many great things in their lifetime. No matter how many great things you have done, that one character flaw or that one lack, if not worked on, people will always remember that one mistake you made or that one character flaw you displayed.

Some of the biggest lessons in life come from learning what not to do. So in a sense these 3 individuals have taught us something. Don’t do that! I’ve definitely learned from other people’s mistakes. Even my own.

For me, as I am writing this entry, I am not claiming that I am a perfect human being(trust me far from it) nor am I mistake free. I have made my fare share of mistakes. I am not just writing this for you the reader to learn from, I am also writing this as a reminder for myself. Always work on your character towards progressive change. If you want to become successful in life, or you want to just be happy, you must embark on the path towards progressive change. Happiness and success involves people. With People, involves relationships. The foundation of every relationship is trust. People will only trust you based on your track record, which is your credibility, which is a reflection of your character. Your character is who you are. It is your reputation. Your reputation is everything. Guard it with your life.

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