“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.”

- James 3:10

Communication Breakdown

Let’s face it: Man or woman, if you don’t communicate well in a marriage, it ain’t gonna succeed.

Conversely, of course, GOOD communication = a GREAT marriage.  So let me tell you what you need to know about good communication in marriage.

You’ve probably seen what BAD communication can do.  I know I have firsthand, both in my marriage and others.  Happens to my brother- and sister-in-law all the time, before they did something about it.  A few cutting words from a loved one, hurt feelings, and a defensive retort that left both with regrets.  The worst part is, these arguments are usually over petty things that snowball into regretful outbursts.

If you want to save your marriage, you have to be careful with words.  Even the book of James in the Bible calls the tongue “an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”

But that doesn’t have to be YOUR tongue, if you make an effort to improve your communication.  If you feel your relationship is at breaking point, you can get relief right now by checking out a book called Save Your Marriage Today.

Communication, communication, communication. My sister-in-law needed to be considered when things were not put back in their place. When two people live together it involves and adjustment in routines, habits, and attitudes. Some consideration of her feelings needed to be taken into account in order for the relationship to move forward.

There was a need to voice frustrations before they get to boiling point. What was needed was a commitment to talking about feelings more often, and in such a way that both partners could do so without judgment or consequence. Open communication was the key to their success, rather than suppressing feelings.

When people feel guilt or stress, it leads them to act funny ways. Often stress and guilt are barriers to communication. The key to overcoming them is to recognize what it is, and have the courage to talk about it. You might be able to do it as a couple, or you might want the help of a friend who can listen to the way you are communicating with each other and offer insights and advice.

They got it sorted out, and kissed and hugged. It wouldn’t hurt so much if you didn’t feel such love at the same time. But it serves as a good reminder to all. Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your own emotions that you forget to think of the other person.

Here are 3 quick reminders and tips that will ensure you don’t say “poison,” but inoffensive, clear words that promote your marriage bliss:

1-You need to entertain the possibility that you are misinterpreting each other.One great way to clarify is to say, “I understand that you think…” or calmly asking, “Are you saying that ….?”  With calm, inoffensive questions you can really get through to your partner and see progress in your marriage.

2- Use “I feel” instead of attacking with “YOU”. For example, “I feel I am not being appreciated,” instead of “You DON’T appreciate me.”  Your partner will be much more open to listening and changing, just with that change of phrasing.  You’ll be amazed at the changes this can make–I’ve seen the blessings firsthand.

3 – Talking about it is the way to expose the miscommunication and let the healing begin! There’s no other way to save your marriage than to talk.  You might think silence or threats are the way, but LISTENING and allowing each other to speak, is the only way forward.  When communication goes down, the marriage goes down with it.

I hope this helps!  Remember, a problem shared is a problem halved.  Get talking and start doing something to save your marriage today.

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