For many in our country, divorce is not a choice, but a tragedy that has struck and destroyed hope and happiness. Many people will be able to identify with more than the mere statistics, but also with the trauma associated with divorce.
The question is who suffers most when divorce occurs? The man, wife or the Children? Are you considering possible divorce or are you already facing this ugly monster? Possible living in little hell. It is hell when couples living under the same roof are not in harmony and peace. When quarrel and shouting becomes the order of the day. When the wife and husband maintain two different kitchens. When fear, suspicion, and insecurity becomes trade mark. “Widow Hood is far better than broken home”
Before considering divorce, look at the following:
1. Pause a bit and consider the first night both of you met. Remember the sweet moments both of you shared. There are always sweet memories in every marriage. Sweet memories are not always forgotten. 2. No matter how bad a person is (husband or wife) there is always a good aspect of that person. Take it or leave it your partner have affected your life in one way or the other. It is not always bad, bad, bad situation. That is why when people re-marry you still live to cast your mind back over some good moments. How do you feel when you set eyes on your ex husband or wife? You feel like coming together again. 3. Consider the emotional trauma your children will go through. Don’t sacrifice the joy and happiness of your children at the expense of your misunderstanding. Do you consider the happiness and security of any child when he or she stays happily with their parents? What an ugly atmosphere of loneliness when they cannot reach their mother or father? 4. Consider also the broken heart, confusion, lack of peace and fulfillment the woman will go through. 5. How are you sure that the next wife or husband you are going to marry will not even worst than the present one you are proposing to divorce. 6. The issue of marriage problem can only be best understood by both parties. Third party can never and will never understand the intricacies surrounding the relationship. During any wedding, people gather to celebrate with you but after the wedding you are left alone within the four corners of your room. What goes on within that room is best known or well understood by both of you.
It is only you can resolve the crisis. How? Drop your pride and see things the way it is. Don’t pretend it. Face the reality. Who suffers most? There is an adage that says “when two elephant fights it is the grass that suffers”. Everybody in that relationship suffers but the children and mother suffers most. The marriage can be healed no matter how sour it is. I know a doctor who specializes in healing broken lives, marriages, situations. If you can drop your pride and turn everything to this Doctor, he will bring back new life into the marriage. (John 2: 1-11). By Nicholas Anyanwu Visit: http://www.discussthatproblem.blogspot.com http://www.mydaddyisrich.com
A young and dynamic infoprenuer who loves to share valuable information to the betterment of people lives. Also a marriage counsellor who loves to see family live in peace.
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4 Responses to “Marriage Problem – is Divorce the Best Option?”
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Saying a third party can never understand the intricacies of a relationship misses the point. A sick marriage is no different than a sick body. Both need the help of professionals to heal. This is especially true when physical or emotional violence, substance abuse or disrepect are present. Left untreated the problem gets worse, like an illness not treated. Who suffers the most? Everyone will, if the illness is ignored. It will spread to the children and in later years, their marriages will suffer from the same illness.
Donna F. Ferber, LPC, LADC
Psychthotherapist
http://www.donnaferber.com
Divorce can be extremely traumatic to families, especially children. My children’s picture book, Living With Mom, Spending Time With Dad takes us through a myriad of emotions that two children, Stephen and Alex, experience through this tumultuous period. Young Alex especially gives an extremely candid and honest account of the day-to-day trauma, the hostility and at times the many poignant memories that he has. Living with Mom, Spending Time with Dad also addresses the concerns and anguish of being torn between two parents. Throughout the story there is that underlying hope that everything will turn out alright and everyone will be back in their original comfort zone.
Grand comment about women